


Something Wicked

by StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese



Series: inspired by wandavision [6]
Category: WandaVision (TV)
Genre: F/F, POV Outsider, spoilers for the wandavision finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29909166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese/pseuds/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese
Summary: Two normal citizens are on the verge of deciding whether or not to buy an abandoned lot in Westview, New Jersey, when an unusual neighbor approaches them.
Series: inspired by wandavision [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200608
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	Something Wicked

“It’s perfect for you two!” Linda mocked under her breath as she picked her way through the empty yard. “You guys love fixer-uppers! You want to build your own house! It’s totally perfect!” She scowled, surveying the plot. “I don’t know, Marie, I think Jake was wrong. This place gives me the creeps.”

“Oh, but Westview’s so nice!” Marie said from across the dirt driveway. She walked over, gravel crunching beneath her sneakers. “It’s got a cute little town square and everything! Plus, it’s in driving distance of the city.”

“Yeah, but it’s  _ creepy.”  _ Linda kicked at a clump of dirt.

Marie shrugged. “Well, it’s cheap.”

“Yeah, no kidding it’s cheap, it’s a dirt lot.” Linda wandered towards the edge of what could charitably be called a ‘yard’ and spotted two passersby watching her from across the street– a man and a woman.

“Hi,” she said.

“Are you going to buy this place?” the woman asked without preamble, and Linda blinked.

“We’re thinking about it,” she said.

“It’s cursed,” the man said. “I wouldn’t live there if you paid me.”

“What’s your stance on television shows?” the woman said. She was blonde, Linda noticed, and a little wild-eyed. “Like– you know.  _ Sitcoms.” _

“Um,” Linda said. “Like  _ Modern Family, _ you mean?”

The woman’s eyes got harder, more suspicious. Beside her, the man twitched and clenched his fists tightly. “Yes,” she said. “What do you think about them in general?”

“What– like other shows? Um, you mean like  _ The Office _ ? I guess they’re funny. Not really my thing. More of a horror movie gal, myself.”

“I hate them,” the woman said. “We all hate them.”

Linda blinked. “Okay?”

“You should get out of here,” the man said. “You don’t want to be trapped if she ever comes back.”

“...If  _ who _ ever comes back?”

“Linda!”

Linda turned away from the pedestrians to squint at Marie, who was waving at her from across the yard. Beside her was another woman, with dark hair and a purple sweater.

Linda turned to say goodbye to the man and the woman, but found that they had both turned away and were all but sprinting down the street. She caught the man saying one word as they left:  _ Agatha. _

_ Huh _ . _ Weird. _

Shrugging, Linda headed across the yard. “Who’s this?” she asked Marie.

Marie opened her mouth, but the unknown woman beat her to it.

“Hello, dear! I'm Agnes, the neighbor to the right. My right, not yours.” She grabbed Marie’s hand and pumped it up and down enthusiastically. “I had a husband named Ralph.” Her smile wavered, briefly. “He ran away.”

“Oh, I see.” Marie gave Linda a Look as if to say  _ Who is this lady, and why is she crazy? _

“I’m Linda,” Linda offered, hoping to save her fiancée from Little Miss Overenthusiastic.

Unfortunately, that meant that the woman’s attention was on  _ her,  _ now. Linda gulped as Agnes peered at her curiously. There was something very unsettling about her dark brown eyes. 

“I’m Agnes,” Agnes said again, and her smile stretched wide again. “Your neighbor to the right.”

“...I know,” Linda said. 

“Not  _ our _ neighbor,” Marie interjected with a nervous chuckle. “I mean, we might not move in, you know.”

“Oh, but you should. Westview is such a nice place. I have a friend, Wanda–” Agnes stuttered for a moment, eyes going distant. When she spoke again, her voice had gone flat and monotonic. “She used to live here.”

“...Cool,” Linda said, when it became clear that Agnes wasn’t going to speak again. “That’s nice.”

Agnes beamed at her. “Isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Linda said. Beside her, Marie started inching backwards, sending Linda a pleading look.

Agnes smiled at them, but again, there was something in her eyes that sucked Linda in.

And then she noticed Agnes’s pinky finger, resting on her opposite elbow.

At first, it just seemed like a twitch– a little tic.

But then a pattern began to form.

A pattern that even Linda knew, even though she never even learned Morse Code.

Dot-dot-dot. Dash-dash-dash. Dot-dot-dot.

S–O–S.

Linda nudged Marie, nodding to it surreptitiously. Her fiancée gasped, not-so-surreptitiously. If Agnes noticed, she didn’t show it.

“So, what’s going on here?” Linda asked as Marie stared. “Um, about sitcoms, and such?”

There was a long, awkward pause. 

Something in Agnes’s eyes seemed to snap shut. A wisp of entwined purple-and-red smoke wafted through the air.

Unwillingly, Linda took a step backwards, dragging Marie with her.

Agnes seemed paralysed, staring into space.

“Um,” Linda said.

Nothing.

Then it was like an electric shock went through the frozen woman. Agnes looked up at Linda and beamed, all confusion gone. 

“Bye-bye now!” Agnes said cheerfully. “Hope to see you soon!”

“Um, yeah,” Linda said, waving an awkward goodbye. “See you.”

She hurried to the car, unlocked it, and flopped down in her seat, letting out a long sigh. Marie sat down beside her. Outside, Agnes watched them with that megawatt smile for just a  _ little  _ bit too long before turning away. 

Linda shivered.

“So…” she said, and that seemed to be all the prompting Marie needed.

“I feel like we shouldn’t get involved,” she said.

Linda exhaled. “Right? I mean, whatever’s going on here, this is government-level, Avengers-level stuff.”

“Right. And we’re not messing with that.”

“Right. Absolutely not.”

“Because that would be stupid of us.”

“Very stupid.” Linda agreed. “ _ So _ stupid.”

“So we’re not doing that.”

“Definitely, absolutely not. Because this is not our forte. Because I am a flower shop manager, and you are a waitress. And those are not professions that are suited for whatever the god damn heck this is.”

“Right. Exactly.”

“Yeah.”

There was a pause.

Marie shifted in her seat. “I mean, her eyes were really creepy, weren’t they?”

Linda sat up.  _ “Right?” _

“Totally creepy.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Staring into my  _ soul.” _

There was another pause.

“You know, I hear Eastview’s nice,” Linda said.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, maybe we should go check it out.”

“Well, it can’t be any worse than this place.”

They pulled out of the driveway, dirt crunching beneath the wheels, leaving Westview, and Neighbor Agnes, behind.

There was something wicked about that place. The man had been right, Linda decided.

_ I wouldn't live there if you paid _ _me._

She pressed down harder on the gas pedal, watching the rearview mirror until the WELCOME TO WESTVIEW sign was well and truly out of sight.

Good riddance, too.

**Author's Note:**

> what did you think?


End file.
